


Know your Audience

by DataAngel (TheNinth)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bad Jokes, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 10:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2265576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNinth/pseuds/DataAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before you start speaking -- especially before you start telling jokes -- you should know your audience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
The explosion had been small. Well, small- _ish_ , and they were far enough away when the bomb detonated that the extent of their damage was a pelting of very small rocks and a thin layer of dust.  
  
"I don't see why we had to do this," Rodney whined as he started dusting himself off. Don't we have people who are skilled in controlled demolitions?"   
  
Ronon gave a vigorous headshake that peppered Rodney with dust and pebbles for the second time. Teyla looked away, knowing that laughing at Rodney was not the polite thing to do.  
  
John crossed himself. The others stared at him, confused.  
  
"When did you find religion?" Rodney asked.  
  
"I do not understand." Teyla's eyes flicked between John and Rodney, looking for clarification. Rodney opened his mouth to speak; John cut him off.  
  
"I haven't found religion. I was just taking post-explosion inventory. See?" He crossed himself again. "Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch." He grinned, waiting for them to laugh.  
  
"You do not wear glasses," said Teyla.  
  
Ronon pointed. "Isn't that your watch on your left wrist?"  
  
"Do you even _own_ a wallet?" Rodney sighed and turned toward the blast site. "Come on. We should see if that was enough to unblock the passage, or if it just made more rocks fall."  
  
The three started walking, leaving John staring dejectedly at their backs. As if the joke failing hadn't been embarrassing enough, Teyla's next comment totally did him in.  
  
"Do men often misplace their testicles, or is that something special that happens only to Colonel Sheppard?"


	2. Chapter 2

  
John leaned over the table, dropping his voice to a loud whisper. Ronon and Teyla leaned in closer, expecting gossip. John elbowed Rodney, who grunted, but didn't look up from the calculations he was scribbling on a napkin.  
  
"So there's this gorgeous Southern Belle," he started.   
  
Ronon wasn't sure what a Southern bell was, but he kept his mouth shut.  
  
"And she's looking to buy a house." John said.  
  
Ronon decided that this was a story about a gorgeous woman and paid a little more attention.  
  
"So the real estate agent is showing her different places, describing how each one is laid out, who built them, how many bathrooms there are, how it's heated, how it's cooled, all that stuff people care about when they're buying a house. Anyhow, the woman doesn't really like any of them. Finally the guy takes her to _the most_ expensive house on his listing.  
  
"So he says to the woman 'This is the absolute best house in this market. It was professionally designed by several of the world's top architects. It has six full bedrooms each with their own private bath, a small room just off the kitchen that's perfect for a personal chef, and they've just finished installing a tennis court in the back garden. This house is absolutely wonderful. It hasn't got a flaw.' And the Southern Belle looks at the guy and says 'It hasn't got a flaw? Then what do y'all walk awn?'"  
  
Ronon blinked. "I don't get it."  
  
Teyla paused just as she was about to take a bite of her lunch. "Did the woman purchase the home?"  
  
Rodney reached over and silently flicked John in the ear, never once looking up from his math.


	3. Chapter 3

  
  
Sheppard turned to Ronon and raised his eyebrows. "So what did you eat under there?"  
  
Ronon grunted.  
  
"I said, what did you eat under there."  
  
"Who says I ate something?"  
  
"No, Ronon, what did you eat _under there_?"  
  
Fed up, Ronon shouted "Under where?"  
  
Sheppard grinned impishly. "You ate _underwear_?"  
  
Ronon narrowed his eyes and glared at Sheppard. "What's underwear?"  
  
Sheppard blinked and drew back a little. "You know. Underwear. Like underpants?" The look on Ronon's face made it clear he wasn't quite getting it. Sheppard tried again. "It's clothes you wear under your regular clothes?"   
  
Ronon scoffed. "Why would anyone do something like that?"  
  
Sheppard decided he now knew more than a little too much about Ronon Dex. He looked around for an exit just in time to see McKay go past. "Hey, McKay, wait up," he called. "So tell me. What did you eat under there?"


End file.
